You work out of a Hotel?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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