Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
