She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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