Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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