I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What a dumb baby whore.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
