are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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