im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
