dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
