My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
