I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
