if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
