white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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