plz talk dirty to me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
