i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
