It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
