Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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