69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
