9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
