Dual....:-)
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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