I've blown a few things in my day
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
