Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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