I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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