whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
