The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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