He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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