Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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