i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
