What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
