We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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