So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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