..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
