I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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