i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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