u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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