I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
