i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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