I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
