yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
