new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
