we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
PANTIES FOUND
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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