i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
