god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
