So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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