i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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