i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
