just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
