she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
