No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
