Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
