a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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