During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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