My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
