I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
