so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
