Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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