I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize