life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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