You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
