And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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