so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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