every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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