i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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