I look better un-naked...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
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