So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
