I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
