We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
