Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
