who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
