Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
