your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
