i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize